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12 Days of Dysfunctional Scrum

In the spirit of the holidays but with a slight twist, I bring you the 12 days of dysfunctional Scrum. 🙂 Happy Holidays to all and have a Happy New Year! Stay safe! Be sure to play the music while reading. If you are rushed for time, I provided a summary first but that takes a little fun out of it.

If you want to sing along skip to the Sing-a-long section and click the video for some background music:

Here are the 12 days of dysfunctional Scrum:

  • Twelve frustrated users
  • Eleven manual tests
  • Ten slides at Review
  • Nine Scrum Master taskers
  • Eight broken builds
  • Seven misunderstood stories
  • Six extend sprints
  • Five month releases
  • Four “backend” stories
  • Three canceled Retros
  • Two hardening “Sprints”
  • and an hour long Daily

Sing-a-long

On the first day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
An hour long Daily

On the second day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the third day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the fourth day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the fourth day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the fifth day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Five month releases
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the sixth day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Six extend sprints
Five month releases
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the seventh day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Seven misunderstood stories
Six extend sprints
Five month releases
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the eighth day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Eight broken builds
Seven misunderstood stories
Six extend sprints
Five month releases
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the ninth day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Nine Scrum Master tasks
Eight broken builds
Seven misunderstood stories
Six extend sprints
Five month releases
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the tenth day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Ten slides at Review
Nine Scrum Master tasks
Eight broken builds
Seven misunderstood stories
Six extend sprints
Five month releases
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the eleventh day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Eleven manual tests
Ten slides at Review
Nine Scrum Master tasks
Eight broken builds
Seven misunderstood stories
Six extend sprints
Five month releases
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

On the twelfth day of Dysfunctional Scrum my coach sent to me:
Twelve frustrated users
Eleven manual tests
Ten slides at Review
Nine Scrum Master tasks
Eight broken builds
Seven misunderstood stories
Six extend sprints
Five month releases
Four “backend” stories
Three canceled Retros
Two hardening “Sprints”
and an hour long Daily

What would you add/change to the 12 days of Dysfunctional Scrum?

bsjoberg:
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